Two Moms and a Baby

Ok.. hope that got your attention.. the three family members who still check this blog. I’ve started over.. I guess wordpress (where I have this blog) threw me into a non-blogging stupor.. so I’m heading back to blogspot. I have a brand new address and everything.

BUT.. hehe.. there had to be a kicker. I’m sure I picked up a few blog stalkers over the years.. so a fresh start is a fresh start.. if you would like the URL (i.e. the address).. send me a quick email.. put “NEW BLOG” in the subject so I don’t miss your message. I’m not being picky.. if I “know” you online or in real life or you’ve been a “long time reader but never commented but not psycho”.. I’ll give you the address.. this is just a filter for random weirdos..

Email is jmhinckley at gmail dot com
Of course.. make that look like an email address.. so substitute a @ and a . in for the at and dot.. get it? Ok.. if that’s overwhelming (mom.. I’m talking to you).. just call me. (or leave a comment here)

Last warning.. I’m not renewing this domain name.. so as of Feb 15.. twomomsandababy.com will no longer give you this site.. don’t freak.. i’m in the process of merging the old posts into my new blog.. at the bare minimum the old stuff will be available at tmaab.wordpress.com.

Thanks all!

We bought his new shoes on Saturday. It is now Wednesday. For those without a calendar in front of you.. that is FOUR days. 4.

There were several reasons why we bought new shoes. The main reason.. well.. his toes could stick out of the gaping hole in the toe.

See Photo:

Prior to replacing these shoes.. I did research. Hard research. I used BOTH google AND bing. We made an informed decision and spent Stride Rite prices on his new shoes.

Have I mentioned that it has just been four days?

See Photo:

Christ on a cracker.

What happened to our little preemie? His toes were so tiny (yet so HUGE for a preemie!)..

His new shoes next to his first shoes…

His new shoes playing Godzilla and stomping on his first shoes…

I’m not sure where time has gone this year. People always say “remember these days.. they will pass too quickly..” blah blah blah. It’s like when people told me when I was in high school that “this is the best life gets.. enjoy it”. To hell with that, man.. high school sucked wind! I’d have to say that my 20’s had high points and low points and my 30’s have been generally wonderful with an occasional bug in the windshield.

We went shoe shopping over the weekend for Benji. Mr. Big Foot is now in a size 9.5w. Our experience at Stride Rite was appropriate for a Saturday morning with a 33 month old.. (i miss labeling his age by week.. i’ve even stopped saying that he’s “two and a half”.. most of the time i just say “almost 3″..blah..)

Ben doesn’t like change. Going to the shoe store is not filled with a little redhead pulling out all the shoes he wants to try on or arguments over whether to get the spiderman or dora snowboots. For us.. Ben holds onto his old, tattered, sneakers (complete with holes in the toes) and screams “no… MY patos!”

So we went into this visit with a bit of technique. We timed it so that we were there as the store was opening.. fewer crowds. Then.. Shiela took Ben out for a diaper change while I talked to the sales person and had her go get the shoes that we liked in my predetermined size range. I then went to the corner.. away from all of the people (and sales person) and sat waiting for Benji’s return.

When they got back, we managed to get his old shoes off before he realized what we were going to do and went “no-bones” and started swinging. Shiela managed to keep him from whipping my glasses off and sucker punching me in the gut (you think I’m joking) so that I could try on three separate pairs of shoes. Luckily.. I’m pretty good with the sizing thing.. 2 of the 3 pairs fit just fine (with room to grow).

The other moms looked on with sympathy and a few fathers looked on with horror as I managed to calmly check the fit of his shoe while he was sobbing and pulling my hair.

In the end.. we chose a very nice pair of brown leather shoes that are sort of like sneakers but seem a bit more durable. He blew through his last sneakers in less than a month. He drags his toes when he’s riding his bike… doh! We’ll see how long these last!

I want to post a photo of his new shoes along with a pair of his first shoes. Maybe tonight.

Ok.. so today started with the alarm going off WAY too early. Then Ben woke up crying.. never a good way to start the day. We were crazy late.. I couldn’t find my ONE bra that fits right, so I’m wearing this thing that keeps flipping up to my neck.. the one thing I didn’t forget to do was brush my teeth. THANK GOD!

So.. moving on. We dropped Benji off at school.. no problems.. we grumbled on our way to dropping Shiela off at the train station and then I headed over to my office. No complaints… well.. lots of complaints, but I had a plan. I was going to bully through a few tasks sitting on my desk and be able to head into the weekend with less on my shoulders.

Yes.. I should have known better.. I’m SO glad I didn’t forget to brush.

So I’m sitting at my desk.. I hadn’t been there 5 minutes. All of a sudden, there is this thing in my mouth. BLECH. It was my crown. That part was good.. if a tooth is going to just randomly fall out.. you want it to be a fake one.

Crap.. so why does something like this ALWAYS happen at the least convenient time when you don’t have the funds for dental work? hmmm?

So I picked up the phone and called Shiela.. who I could practically see go pale at the idea of stockpiling dental bills.. which always happens when I go to the dentist. Especially with a broken tooth.. on a weekend.

So I called the dentist and they were able to fit me in.. they are really great. They HAD taken me off their list of patients for skipping my 6 month cleaning.. grrr.. Anyway.. they put me back on their list and I got a few lectures about the importance of visiting every 6 months.

Two hours later.. I left the dentist’s office. Crown cemented back in place.. a full cleaning done (they weren’t letting me out of there without having a cleaning.. urgh..).. but luckily for today.. no charge. Our dental insurance ROCKS.

Emergency Visit to Dentist = $0
X-rays = $0
Artistic Sculpting = $0
Cleaning = $0

WHEW! And yes.. you read that right. She had to reshape some of my teeth because my teeth grinding has gotten so bad. Crap. It was also the cause of me snapping the crown out after just one year. I also have two other teeth that need attention because their fillings are cracked with new cavities because of the grinding.

oops.

So.. while today’s visit was free.. I need to have a few fillings taken care of with hopefully minimal drilling and I need to get a nightguard.

Crap.

The positive news out of all of this is that Ben is going in for his first appointment next Friday. He gets to play in the chair and mess around with all the buttons. Hopefully he will get a cleaning and a flouride treatment. The dentist told me to bring my camera since the first cleaning is something you want to capture for a lifetime worth of memories (her words.. not mine)..

No.. I didn’t take a picture of myself without the tooth..

Yes.. that’s all I can come up with for a witty and insightful blog heading.. it’s been quite a week.

An update on my friend. She has lost both of her babies. The twins were delivered last weekend. Maximilian Joseph and Maria Elizabeth. It’s hard to put any of it into words. We are sad.

In other news.. this week has been somewhat wacky. Shiela and I cleaned out our basement last weekend.. it was CRAZY. We are getting ready for a yard sale (or, as we say it in Boston.. a “yahd sall”).. tons of crap that has to go. Oh wait.. it’s all quality crap.. yeah.. right..

As a result.. both of us were completely tapped. Shiela was in the fits of a fibromyalgia attack and spent most of Monday and Tuesday twitching and asking Benji to please not throw any more hotwheels cars at her head.

I decided to round it out by getting a nasty migraine that started on Wednesday night and has been just a dull ache today. I spent all of yesterday huddled in my dark bedroom with my head under a pillow. Last night shiela brought clarity (i.e. she picked up pain meds) and I have joined the vertical today.

This weekend? who knows. I’m just glad that it’s almost Friday night. OH.. did I mention that we finally complained to the landlord about our freakazoid neighbor? Now he’s creaping around asking Shiela if they can talk. I’ve had a migraine and have been conveniently under a pillow for all of this.

Benji.. I have to say.. is the light of our absolute lives. (aside from the thing where he throws hotwheels cars.. and throws anything he can reach when he gets mad.. or even when he’s not mad… he’s really got quite an arm.. we should find some way to positively reinforce this activity.. but no.. it was a hard week.. we just duck and yell)

I plan to take lots of pictures and upload them and tell all about all of the wonderful things that he is doing right now. My absolute favorite.. is that he says “coming, mommy?” when it’s bed time. He wants us to sit with him while he settles down. We’d always call out “I’m coming, Ben” when he’d call for us from his crib.. so now he asks us to stay with him by saying “coming, mommy?” it’s the best.

he also always gives us big hugs and kisses (especially after throwing hotwheels cars at our heads).

Dear Mr. Hallmark, I am writing to you from heaven, and though it must appear
A rather strange idea, I see everything from here.

I just popped in to visit, your stores to find a card
A card of love for my mother,as this day for her is hard.

There must be some mistake I thought, every card you could imagine
Except I could not find a card, from a child who lives in heaven.

She is still a mother too, no matter where I reside
I had to leave, she understands, but oh the tears she’s cried.

I thought that if I wrote you, that you would come to know
That though I live in heaven now, I still love my mother so.

She talks with me, and dreams with me; we still share laughter too,
Memories our way of speaking now, would you see what you could do?

My mother carries me in her heart, her tears she hides from sight.
She writes poems to honor me, sometimes far into the night.

She plants flowers in my garden, there my living memory dwells
She writes to other grieving parents, trying to ease their pain as well.

So you see Mr. Hallmark, though I no longer live on earth
I must find a way, to remind her of her wondrous worth.

She needs to be honored, and remembered too
Just as the children of earth will do.

Thank you Mr. Hallmark, I know you’ll do your best
I have done all I can do; to you I’ll leave the rest.

Find a way to tell her, how much she means to me
Until I can do it for myself, when she joins me in eternity.

————-
I hear news this morning about Linda and her twins. Her son, Maximilian Joseph, is resting. His tiny heart stopped beating. At this time, he is content to stay right where he is close to his sister and his mother. My prayers (yeah.. I found them again), stay with Linda, Ron and I’ve got every finger and toe cross for their little girl (baby “b”).. keep growing, little one!

I’m feeling the need to start raising money for next year’s March for Babies (March of Dimes) walk. I wasn’t able to take part this year.. the walk was right in the middle of my iron treatments and I was lucky if I stood each day, let alone walk 3 miles. I felt really bad about missing it. I walked in 2007, when Benji was just a few months old. I walked again in 2008.. the weather was bad and Ben had an ear infection so I went alone.. and I kicked butt.. finishing the walk WAY ahead of the pack… big deal for me.

Our time in the NICU was brief (6 days) and uneventful (thank GOD).. the challenging part was the emotional toll of worrying about Benji and not being able to be with him 24/7.. and meeting all of those families who were also spending time with their newborn or newborns.. or 3 month olds.. all babies who were born too early.

I was lucky. My health tanked.. the doctors said “yep.. you need to deliver” and as fate would have it.. Benjamin was far enough along that he did not have any health problems.

I continue to be absolutely terrified of the idea of having more children. I never planned to only have one child.. I figured that if my infertility issues could be dealt with.. of course we’d have more. After our experience.. we don’t know. It’s a definitely “no” for the moment. I was in the best health of my adult life when I conceived Benjamin and I STILL almost died. I can’t put myself at risk like that now that I have both Shiela AND Benjamin in my life (not to mention the two cats and the hamster, Jack-Jack).

Anyway.. it wasn’t on the table.. so this isn’t a new revelation. It’s just that the fear of loss occasionally rears up and smacks us with a bit of reality.

Some new friends of ours, Sam and Suzanne, have spent 7+ weeks in the NICU with their daughter, Ella, who was born at 30 weeks. Two more moms and a baby. Ella is super baby.. I’m going to get her a cape and I can’t wait for Ben to get the chance to teach her lots of nasty gross toddler stuff… like all the songs we know about poop. Ella is now at about the size Ben was when he came home.. and she’s doing great and will be coming home very soon. We are so very happy for Sue and Sam.

An old friend of mine, Linda (and her husband, Ron), are in the hospital right now. They are pregnant with twins.. 18 weeks along and her water broke. WAY too early. Every positive thought I have is directed toward them. It’s times like these when I have trouble believing in a God. I’m so very sorry, Linda.

Last night, we lost power. My guess is that “the grid” was just overloaded.. it’s HOT and HUMID here this week. Shiela, Ben and I were in the living room when the AC/fan/TV/lights/etc. all shut off. Scared the pants off of Benjamin. His “fight or flight” reflex is strong.. he was going to get the heck out of dodge. He didn’t come running to either of us.. and didn’t cry.. but he was going to get out of the room if he had to go through the wall!

We finally convinced him that it was ok and that nothing was “boken” (broken) and that no, we couldn’t watch Buddy (Toy Story.. combo of Buzz and Woody). We lit some candles and grabbed some flashlights.

Ben said “yaaayyyy!!! Birthday Cake!”

I’m not sure where he learned that.

I explained that no.. it wasn’t a birthday cake.. it was just candles.. but that it looked just like the candles on a birthday cake and he was brilliant. He heard “candles” and immediately signed “candy” and started walking around jabbering about candy-candy-candy…

We grabbed our flashlights and some books and piled into our bedroom, which was the coolest in the house given that I had run the AC on high all day in there. The chill didn’t last for long though, and by about 9:30.. Ben was still up and flailing around. FINALLY.. the power came back on!

In other news.. I had my effing colonoscopy yesterday. It went fine.. no complications or anything.. but now there is this huge mystery. My colitis IS NOT flaring up.. no inflamation in my colon at all, it seems. So where the heck is the blood coming from? They took biopsies, but no comments about finding anything like polyps or other gross growths. I’m supposed to call my doc back in a week, once the biopsy results are in.

i.e. I called this morning. Actually.. I’ve called three times today. She’s with patients. I just want her to call back to tell me that everything looked normal and that she has no idea what caused the bleeding/anemia but that we’ll figure it out. What I’m afraid of is that she’ll call and say that there was something wrong and she did biopsies to confirm what she already assumes.. that i’m a goner.. ok.. so maybe I’m a bit paranoid.. but my gosh.. can’t anything be simple?